Mystical Experiencer: Male in mid-forties
Current location: Australia
Age at time of experience: 44
While driving around 8:00am on a Winter Saturday I thought of the words “facsimile lives”.
I was cynically judging the owner of a 4wd vehicle towing a boat at a set of traffic lights on the cross street. I thought this might be a good theme for some cynically judgmental song lyrics.
This led me to realise I had been living my life according to some blueprint of what was a correct life, experiencing more or less but nevertheless ubiquitous disappointment as actual events or behaviour departed from this self-developed expectation.
I perceived this life blueprint was created from a collage of influence of others. The life I lived was only a disappointing facsimile of this expectation.
It occurred to me that logically the probability of moment to moment existence conforming to any future expectation was infinitesimal. Life was not inherently dissatisfying. Expectation created dissatisfaction. I felt as if a momentous event was imminent.
I then considered other lyrics I had written and how they were directed at the “outside” world. I realised that these lyrics had always been an attempt by a deeper consciousness to communicate with my ego self, about my ego self.
I then lost all thought and heartily laughed for about 10 minutes (still driving great but I wasn't doing the driving or anything else). The unnamed consciousness had been kindly amused by my ego all along! My entire body felt vital and “electric”, centred around the top of my head.
Everything I perceived was vastly and indescribably vibrant and dynamic. It was as if I was awake for the first time as a new born child. While I continued down the highway I was completely within the present but also had the experience of timelessness.
I experienced no separation between myself and the “outside” world and was at one with all.
The purity of this Paradise state lasted for around a week. Many people I passed by noticed me by smiling spontaneously or reacted in some positive way. By my observation people I had known were perplexed by my joyous equanimity.
In time I felt I needed to withdraw from this state to fulfil “earthly” commitments to my children. It was an effort. In the process I re-attached to my thought and emotions and re-entered what I might describe “time-stream”.
This was not a drug induced experience. I had never heard of DMT or Ayahuasca at that time and I have never taken either.
Over the next few months I experienced a bodily health “supercharge”. Now I rarely experience illness despite suffering through several cold like illnesses each year prior.
I have no fear of death while at the same time I value life like never before.