Mystical Experiencer: Female in mid-sixties
Current location: Canada
Age at time of experience: 65
Every December, I visit about 150 homeowners that I regularly keep in touch with. I do this between 5 and 8 o’clock in the evening when it is dark and cold out, so I can find people at home. I drive my car from home to home. This particular evening, I had probably visited about 7 or 8 residences by the time I reached this property. I had not that week, day or the hours before (or later), engaged in any kinds of drugs, exercise, meditation or highly charged emotional experiences. I was just going about my normal routine, working, by visiting one homeowner in my database after another.
I knocked and the lady of the house opened the door, and we had a friendly, relaxed chat on her front porch. Without any bidding on my part (in mid-conversation), I instantly slipped into a no ego, no self (no consciousnesses of self, no being a witness) mode. Even though it felt like I was just awareness, just being aware, my body did not seem to be present (it was like my body had disappeared). I had no sense of my ego or self. I felt like I was just being awareness. Time ceased to exist. I had a sense of eternity which I have never had before.
I continued to talk, listen and see. Everything I saw was extremely vivid (colours and objects were stronger and much more vibrant than usual), clear and alive (almost to the stage of sparkling). There was an awareness of ‘oneness’ or maybe a better way of saying it was ‘non-separation or non-distinction’ with everything around me. There was a sense of complete at-peace-with-the-worldness, calmness, joy (not sure that is the right word, perhaps more like a feeling you get when all feelings, emotions, concerns and judgments are gone – like the feeling of ‘grace’), a feeling of total equanimity, a sense that everything is exactly as it should be (the notion that things should or should not be as they are was never part of the equation). Of being totally in the moment. A total ‘lightness’ of being.
While this was happening the homeowner and I were talking with one another. It was totally natural to continue to speak and function without an ego or self. Unfortunately, it did not last long. The instant I ‘realized’ what was happening, my body, ego and self rushed back. We continued our friendly chat a few minutes more and then I was on my way to the next house.