Mystical Experiencer: Female in mid-fifties
Current location: U.S.A.
Age at time of experience: 15
We were released from school early and I had just come home. I was thinking about how I was going to spend this extra time I had. I was in the dining room and leaned my right hip against the table. I was thinking about what to do and was looking into the kitchen. I stopped thinking and as soon as my mind went blank is when it happened.
I felt as though I had turned into a liquid. I felt myself flow into the table and the table and I flowed into the floor. I can’t remember what I saw but I remember thinking, “I can’t tell where one thing ends and another begins; there are no edges to anything.” Then I felt as though I had become one with everything that existed; “I am everything and everything is me.” Then I became aware of something else. I felt this feeling of love, but not only did I feel love, I loved; “I love everything and everything loves me. I am love itself.”
I remember thinking, “Even though I feel one with everything, I know that I’m me. But I’m like a thought suspended in space.” I felt confused, I tried to think what was happening to me. I felt a wall go up to my left and slam shut. “I have to just be.” I surrendered to the feeling of oneness, the feeling of love. “I’m so happy. I feel as if I’m one big smile. If I could just stay right here in this love for all eternity, I’d never want for anything else.”
I was back at the table and I began saying things, but I had to listen to what I was saying because they weren’t coming from thoughts in my head. “That was real and this isn’t. We think we’re separate from one another, but that’s just an illusion. There is nothing but God. There is no place you can go where God isn’t. There is nothing that you can do that is so terrible it’ll ever make God stop loving you.