A Cosmic Entirety in a State of Absolute, Ecstatic Equilibrium

Mystical Experiencer:  Male in early nineties
Submission date:  November 15, 2021
Current location:  U.S.A.
Age at time of experience: 42



Sometime in 1970, Ed [(I)], in relation with Patti, was blessed with a profound experience.

This afternoon Patti and I made love and later—our climax was spectacular and mine was of such profound intensity and depth that I felt I had experienced the most complete, Earthly ecstasy possible. After some moments, when I normally would have felt the orgasmic spasms subside, the physical or physiological symptoms rapidly diminished but the emotional ecstasy not only persisted but seemed to be growing in intensity. There was the feeling that maybe something even more profound was about to happen and I rolled over onto the adjacent bed and arranged a position where I was flat on my back with my hands crossed over my chest.

The sexual quality was now completely replaced by a feeling of radiant joy throughout my entire being, accompanied by an increasingly poignant sense of emotional ecstasy which was rapidly becoming a spiritual sensation. (About a minute had passed since lying on my back.) As this sensation intensified, my regular physical senses started to become numb. Through my art appreciation studies, I was familiar with the Bodhisattva smile and I semi-consciously helped my facial muscles, which seemed to be pulled by a warm, electric-like force, transform my expression into a similar smile of absolute ecstasy.

The electric-like sensation grew in intensity and rapidly spread throughout my entire body and I became enveloped in a soft “glow” of exquisitely sweet energy. Although I had no sense of hearing outside sounds, there was an impression of a soft, rushing noise associated with this feeling. My eyes were closed but the dark field which normally seems filled with minute sparkles of varicolored light was clearing to a truly black intensity; my hearing and sense of touch were attenuated until, finally, I was physically numb and the electric feeling, the ecstasy, and the darkening field was all there was to my consciousness save for the awareness that I was about to be “launched” out on a profound journey…outward, inward of wherever. I felt the kind of anticipatory excitement that you get as a passenger in a jet at the moment the tremendous thrust just starts to develop to drive the plane down the runway to takeoff.

Transcendent Journey


All these sensations seemed to be peaking; the dark field seemed to squeeze into an even darker horizontal, rectangular slot and with a gentle lurch that seemed to kick my head back. I shot through the slot into the very blackest void for the merest fraction of a second. Instantly the light returned and I was on my way, completely aware of my naked body with arms crossed on my chest being carried “upwards” at a fantastic speed in a stream of energy. I was in an exhilarated state of sharp consciousness and clearly aware that I was on a supreme adventure. There was the impression of pale green and peach-colored rivulets of energy rippling in the stream, the diameter of which seemed just large enough to accommodate my body and the whole; they appeared to undulate as if in response to the great force and speed of the energy involved. I experienced an extremely pleasant sensation as the “plasmic” stream rushed over my body.

Very soon, my consciousness rapidly intensified and as the stream sped me on, an ever-increasing clarity seemed to reveal all personal and collective memory, knowledge, and wisdom. As fast as this immense body of intelligence was presented, it was realized, first as awesome, almost immediately became insignificant, and then was left far behind in irrelevance.

After a few moments of traveling and getting the impression I’d been transported far from Earth, I felt myself slowing down in the stream (as if the stream continued at the same speed but with lessening energy) and as this happened, I became aware of a message “coming-down-to-me” to the effect that-IF I WERE TO CONTINUE, I MUST AGREE TO DIE. I received the unmistakable impression that I was being offered a choice from some external, cosmic intelligence… to live and return now, or to accept earthly, physical, permanent death and continue this journey to the unknown. Without hesitation, and in fact, without losing a great deal of my ecstatic feeling, I generated a clearly conscious YES… and accepted death. With this, my speed again increased in the stream and I traveled even longer and further than before without much change in my condition.

At some point, my self-conscious awareness began to be superseded by a radiant sense of cosmic awareness which seemed to approach the absolute. I recall a blazing light starting at my feet, and in a relentless rush, coursing up my body, annihilating my physical substance (kind of like a Fourth of July sparkler consuming itself), and, when it came to my head, (still speeding in the stream) all form and consciousness, in a kind of slow-motion burst, transformed the last trace of my physical or conscious “self” into a dazzling, expanding, gigantic light.

As this rapidly expanding “I” was thrown out free by the stream into a cosmic void where “I” almost immediately became joined with a cosmic entirety in a state of absolute, ecstatic equilibrium… a separate but joined, immense, dazzling pure light of cosmic awareness. The impression I have which may not be accurate memory of this particular instant, but something I conceptualized later during recall, is that “I” was in union with infinite cosmic forces; “my” light was white, intense, immense but finite, as “I” was aware of its outer limits; there was the feeling that there were other similar systems “out there”. There was in this cosmic ecstasy a dimension of cosmic family love and it was infused throughout this infinite system.

This state persisted for some time—then “my” light started to retract.

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