Mystical Experiencer: Man in his late thirties
Submission date: July 3, 2023
Current location: Canada
Age at time of experience: 37
I tried psilocybin mushrooms for the first time after reading research papers suggesting they could help with depression and anxiety. Since I had read that high doses were more effective, I took a so-called “heroic dose”, then just relaxed in bed with my eyes closed and waited.
What followed is very hard to describe in words. At first I only felt a physical sensation of acceleration, like I was being launched up into space. Then my sense of self somehow dissolved, and there was sudden awareness of a pure, clear, all-encompassing consciousness. There was no “me” or “I” anymore. There was just awareness of all of space and time. And in that awareness, something was felt that words cannot describe. The closest word might be love, but it falls short and doesn’t come close to truly naming it.
After an unknown time (because time didn’t exist in that experience) my usual sense of self gradually reemerged and I opened my eyes as if waking from a dream, but I was changed. I knew that what I had experienced was the true nature of reality, and that mundane human life is a transient dream-like experience coalesced from that infinite loving consciousness. Ever since, I feel like a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders. My anxiety and recurrent symptoms of depression have vanished.