Everything I Thought “I” Was Dropped Away

Mystical Experiencer:  Male in mid-sixties
Submission date:  February 7, 2022
Current location:  U.S.A.
Age at time of experience:  19

I’d been leafing through a book of Kirlian photography, intrigued by the beauty of the results of that process, and started reflecting on what an electrical field actually is. I was trying to create a useful concept in my head that I could use whenever I encountered information referring to such fields, like in the popular-science writings on physics and cosmology I was becoming increasingly interested in.

Definitions of fields seemed tautological to me, as they always took an approach like “a field is whatever it is measured to be at various spatial points,” so they didn’t help much. I thought very hard about it, bringing into mind this and that idea, juggling conceptual components around, flipping things this way and that, until I gave up in exhaustion and stood up from my chair.

Right at that moment, everything I thought “I” was dropped away, fear of suffering and death were obviously silly, and I instantly knew that although all of reality was perfectly clear and easy to see, I’d never be able to explain anything about it to anyone (although I knew I would try).

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