Mystical Experiencer: Male in early fifties
Current location: U.S.A.
Age at time of experience: 24
Though I was raised very happily as a Catholic and believed in God, I never believed the basic Christian cosmology or the concept of a personified God. I was going through a deep spiritual searching in my life, and read many, many books on New Age philosophy, Eastern religious concepts and practices, quantum physics and the nature of consciousness, and meditating was daily. I was very spiritually “hungry” at the time.
I was sitting in my bath tub meditating and contemplating, and concentrating on the concentric circles caused by water droplets on the surface of the bath water. I was tired of getting mere descriptions or hints of the transcendent. I prayed, and asked – nearly demanded of God – “I want to know the truth,” and abandoned myself to the universe. I offered no resistance, no intellectual effort.
It was as if suddenly the greatest peace and love poured into me like an enormous waterfall. I had come into contact with an eternal Consciousness, not a personified God, but something far more immense, infinite. I felt like a small wire taking in too much energy, so I consciously breathed and relaxed my body to take it all in and, as I further surrendered, indeed more of this endless Love and Peace flowed into me, and was overflowing into the universe from me. “I” seemed to disappear. “I” was merely this wonderful, complex creature created by the Creator, this very Love that was pouring into me. It was information, eternal Truth, that I was receiving. I literally writhed in spiritual ecstasy and cried tears of joy. I felt given a Love which could never possibly be earned that was something at the very core of the Universe. While this was not the Biblical God I had been raised to believe, it was a Consciousness, with an intention and intimate knowledge of me. I felt connected to every living being. I felt lighter than air. I was energy. Literally, if at that moment someone had entered trying to harm me, I would have felt love for that person.
The actual experience lasted for hours. I exited the bath and did yoga on the floor of my bedroom and just felt these constant waves of energy and contact with the Holy coursing through me, and me coursing through everything. I recognized at that moment the meaning of Blake’s poem about “seeing the world in a grain of sand.” Everything was Perfect. Everything integral to the whole, and held together in its infinite complexity by this infinitely loving Energy.
This event was life changing. I knew at that moment what it meant in the Christian tradition to be “born again,” though this experience had no Christian trappings at all. It transcended all religious or man-made interpretations and was truly ineffable. For many days afterwards, while the intensity diminished (I wouldn’t have been able to function day to day if it hadn’t), I could tap into this reservoir of peace and love and stillness at will and could feel immense love and empathy with other people, including strangers. I felt like my energy field extended far beyond me during those days, and I remained joyous beyond description for a long period of time.
I count this moment the most important event of my life.