I Became All Things and No Thing

Mystical Experiencer:  Female in late 30s
Current location:  U.S.A.
Age at time of experience:  29

Prior to my experience, I had been living a life of service in an intentional community. I was extremely depressed. I was walking in an alley near my home. I stopped to smell and admire some hollyhock growing on a fence. My head exploded and I became all things and no thing. (The wording of that is very important to me.)

I then walked home and took a nap. For a few months following, I could only tell you facts about me – such as my age or first car. I had dislodged something in my belly that’s primary interest was protecting itself. I was you. You were me. Everything was love, and all people were extremely beautiful.

Internally I felt like I could have easily touched death had the experience been more complete, and my suffering about how to define love and how to live it became all-consuming shortly after. I sought out psychiatric care.

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