Mystical Experiencer: Female in early-fifties
Current location: U.S.A.
Age at time of experience: 27
[My mystical experience] came in the form of a dream, two nights in a row. I was struggling with heroin. I didn't realize it at the time but I was physically addicted. I feel it is important to point out at this point in my addiction, I used to function normally. I no longer was able to become HIGH….
January 1991. I'm married, husband is working night shifts. I'm alone sleeping. I dream I'm in a type of plane. It’s immense. I lookout, there’s vast sand dunes, nothing but dunes. A man approaches. I interact with him, it seems like hours. We are on a comfortable couch. I feel this incredible love. It’s like nothing I've ever felt. I wake up. I call my mom. I'm disturbed. I've never had a dream like this. I even tell my husband.
All I can think of is this man.
Next night I'm asleep. I see this man. He tells me he loves me, he's ok, he has to go. I'm crying. We are still in the plane. He takes a spiral staircase to a second level. I follow, I'm desperate, I don't want to lose the love I've felt. He's talking to another woman. I put my hand on his arm, he turns to me, he does not recognize me. I stumble back down the spiral staircase, feeling heartbroken, and jealousy has gripped my heart. I turn [and there’s] a brilliant white light filled with a love that is so indescribable, English language can't begin to cover it.
A voice fills my mind, heart and soul. It's like every question to the universe has been answered. Love is all that matters. A person has an infinite amount of love to give. Light pulls back and I'm seeing the earth from space…I'm with 2 or 3 beings…I love them so much.
I wake up. I'm baffled by the dream. 2 days later I get call from my mom. My boyfriend before my husband of 5 years had shot himself with a shot gun. He lingered the first night of my dream and passed the morning of the second night of my dream. That night I called my best friend and had her drive me to a treatment centre outside of the city.
I stayed clean for 10 years. Had a relapse in 2001 but it was short and I've been clean since. I feel like the universe gave me the greatest gift possible. I struggle at times because I often feel so unworthy of this gift. I often wish someone better at communicating the message of love was presented because I truly suck at it, I truly do. I've had 4 experiences. Not sure why me.