Mystical Experiencer: Female in late seventies
Current Location: U.S.A.
Age at time of experience: 32
I had been in a sort of mental turmoil for a period of time. I had considered myself an atheist for several years and now was trying to find something that might fill in what seemed to be an emptiness in my life. I had just determined that I had drinking problem and was in the process of overcoming it. At the time I was at home alone, mid-day, lying on a couch, reading from two books intermittently. The New Testament (King James) and The Will To Power (Friedrich Nietzsche). I did not seem to be getting anywhere, so stopped reading and did some thinking.
I had read somewhere that making the mind blank would help steady the thinking process, so decided to give it a try. In order to accomplish that, I had also read that by imagining I was standing in front of a huge billboard that was painted white with nothing else on it and my entire field of vision was filled with the whiteness, that by concentrating on the blankness of the billboard I could shut out all thought. It did just that. For what now seems to have been only a moment I was aware of nothing except a blank whiteness. The next thing I was aware of was being surrounded by darkness and a coolness and at some distance away there was a white light (not bright). The light seemed to be attractive, in that I wanted to get closer to it. Then I seemed to be moving toward the light, just slowly.
As I approached the light, I could see that it was coming from what appeared to be the top half of a Dutch door, shining down onto the ground or floor in front of me. I could feel a strong urge to enter the light and started to do so. There seemed to be a barrier of some sort in my way and I had to use some force to overcome it. This is where the experience really takes place. Once in the light I was only aware of what seemed to be total knowledge, total perfection, total peace, all that is, all that was, all that will be. Absolute beauty, absolute contentment. (All of that rolled into one and that still does not come close to describing what it was like.)
All the while there was no sense of myself being anything apart from the whole, only that there was one complete reality and I was part of it (the drop of water in the sea analogy.). Then, from somewhere, the thought that I must get back came. Instantly I was back at myself in my room. I was somewhat shaken to say the least. I had no idea what had just happened and did not find out for several years. I was in a state of awe. I felt that I had just seen beyond life into another world and felt that I would never fear death.
I felt compelled to go outside the house into the warm summer day. I did so and walking barefoot in the grass, feeling the sun on my arms and the warm air and wind in my face could feel a kind of reconnection with nature, actually feel the air in my lungs sparkle and the sunshine tingle on my skin, could feel life in nature. I wanted to tell people about this experience but after thinking about it decided it would be best not to since I did not know just what I had seen or did and what others might think of me. I still don't feel easy talking to anyone about it.
From what information I have gathered over the years (since Google came to life) I have no doubt that mine was a genuine mystical experience. It fits with Walter Stace's and William James' descriptions. (And my life did turn for the better, not instantly but surely.)