There was no “I”. There was just pure awareness of the bliss and peace.

Mystical Experiencer: Male in mid-seventies
Current Location: Singapore
Age at time of experience:  38

I injected 2 vials of adrenalin IV in front of my wife, as I found out she was having an affair with a friend. The moment I injected myself with the drug prior to losing consciousness, there was a strong feeling of regret.Immediately after I injected the drug, I lost the waking consciousness, but it was replaced by an awareness of extreme bliss and peace associated with a sense of consciousness that there was no "I".There was just pure awareness of the bliss and peace.There were no thoughts also.In the experience, there appeared that there was nothing apart from this consciousness of peace and bliss.There was nobody experiencing this bliss.This state lasted I think about 5-10 mins. I was about 38 years old then.

About a few years later,I practiced a relaxation exercise where my body was completely relaxed.I then prayed to God that if he could let me have the same experience again so that I know that it was not caused by the drugs and my mental state. I was resting on my patient’s couch during lunch break when there was nobody in the room. I was lying down and then I suddenly had the same experience as I had before.It also lasted for a few minutes. After the experience, I became obsessed about reading spiritual books of all the religions, particularly the mystics. I then found that when I read the gospel of Ramakrishna and Ramana Maharishi,their experience seemed to be identical to mine. I started meditating since, but the awareness of this bliss and peace has not come back even after meditating for 30 yrs. All the spiritual books I have read, particularly from the mystics, seem to suggest I had spontaneous Nirvikalpa Samadhi.

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