Mystical Experiencer: Female in late fifties
Current location: U.S.A.
Age at time of experience: 49
I just lost my Mother after a long and painful illness. It was springtime, her favorite time of year along with the Easter Season. The day was gorgeous, blue sky and a steady, constant breeze that caressed my face and skin. The sound of it rustling in the fresh greens of the trees was music to my ears. So, consoling in my sadness, I was planting the perennial flowers given to me by friends in honor of my Mother. I was just needing to feel the earth in my hands and partaking in something my Mother loved to do all the time. Gardening.
I remember standing in the yard, when suddenly there was an opening up of the world to universe, to timelessness, a sudden sense that all is one. I reveled in the glory of it, knowing or understanding, all at once, my mother was showing me a glimpse of heaven. The love was endless and eternal, I’ve never felt such love since my first similar experience when I was 17. I felt I was shown the miracle of life after death. That death could be the human death or the death of illusion, because what I was experiencing was the grandest reality, the honest true existence of all things.
I understood that we are energy, and all energy is connected and vital and never ending. Like we know God is in all things, my Mother went back to the Father, and like him, she too was as omnipotent and omnipresent and with me forever. He/She was in my breath, my voice, my sight, my allness, and therefore the all, the Oneness. It was comforting, and I felt immense joy at the glorious gift shared with me, and the energy of it seemed to cling to me as it faded. The intensity of it faded from my heightened awareness to my sudden self-consciousness, which had completely disappeared in the grandeur of the moment.
I guess after the experience, I stayed aware of the God Winks that might appear, the messages that say, I am here, I am with you, that are now symbols or Totems of my Mom when she was alive. An Iris, a hummingbird, an eagle, a song, there is timing to it, coinkydink if you will. The best of which occurs in the moments of the morning just before being fully awake. I feel my Mother so close, so alive, reminding me encouraging me, to be the light… keep the light… of the lord or something?
I have hidden from it all, tried to forget, and when I become a lost soul, that sorrow is great. I have to return to this knowing, and follow the path by following the signs, and try to stay conscious of God and Divinity. Like I really have to fight the nothingness of becoming absorbed into the walking dead… it’s everyday and I have to hold onto the Mystical experience that calls me back from that awful unconscious existence. I have to keep my heart and eyes open and be grateful. I think we have to be love, love is it. The Golden Rule.