Mystical Experiencer: Male in early seventies
Current location: United Kingdom
Age at time of experience: 23
I had 3 small children and my house was in bad shape and needed decorating, and this made me depressed. I was slumped in my chair and in a dreadful state. At one point, I somehow dropped all internal focus, inner chatter, and self-importance, and simply and mechanically got up and got the paint and paint brushes and started to paint without reference to myself.
I painted extremely slowly and with tremendous focus while there was “no me” present. At some point, the world disappeared and universal consciousness was present. I have no words for this part and I knew I could never describe this event to anyone. Love was the totality of it; the undivided totality.
Eventually, normal consciousness began to reappear in stages. The first stage was that I was an eagle floating very high above a great empty valley and as the eagle, I was alone in my territory. This was my natural abode. In the next part of coming back to being human, I was aware of “my consciousness” awakening down at my left side, just above the waist.
In the days, weeks and months following, I both longed to return to this awareness, this beauty, love and joy, and at the same time felt insecure and scared of it.