Mystical Experiencer: Male in mid-forties
Current location: United Kingdom
Age at time of experience: 44
The event occurred unexpectedly when I visited Angkor Wat in Cambodia during a holiday in Asia with my girlfriend in December, 2014. On the 16th of Dec. we visited Angkor Wat as tourists. This is exactly what happened to my awareness:
As we walked along the causeway leading to the temple I noticed I could “read” the building but even though I was aware I was doing this, the “reading” of the building seemed to be below the conscious level and yet I was aware I was doing it.
We then stepped into the area at the temple, from the last doorway, and I quickly turned to my right to look at the carvings on the wall. There were so many people standing in front of the wall. I only got to see the last of a series of meditating figures, carved one next to another along the length of the wall, and only glimpsed it for a fraction of a second as I turned again to look at the temple right in front of me.
As I carried on walking around I was starting to think of a statue of Buddha as if it were in front of me but this “thought” did not seem to originate with my mind. I did not intend to think of this. It was as if it were being impressed on me from outside. Over the course of the next few minutes, I had been up to the top of Meru tower, the central tower at Angkor Wat, and had come down again to walk around inside the quads with bathing pools. By now, the image of the Buddha statue was so strong in my mind's eye. It seemed to be more real than my physical surroundings. It now had such an intensity that I had no choice but to give in to it, so to speak, and focused my attention on it.
On the statue’s forehead was a white disc of light, about 3 – 4 cm wide around which were radiating ripples and waves. The waves were white in colour and there were two types. One was strong, about 3 a second, radiating out to my peripheral vision in about one second. The other waves were weaker looking and between the strong waves. There were eight ripples between every strong wave. The other items coming from this disc of white light were a ring around the disc flashing on and off randomly and what looked like watery material pouring out of the disc to either side continuously. It looked like material pouring off the sun as in coronal mass ejections but was far more continuous and gentle in nature.
After examining these attributes I focused all my attention on the disc of light itself in the centre. I asked myself “What is the nature of this light?” Within two seconds, after looking directly into it, I knew it was stillness. I was now only aware of this stillness light and became absorbed by it completely. I lost track of time. As I stared into this light, after what seemed like a few seconds, I became aware that my awareness itself had changed. I was now very aware of being surrounded by an infinite field of stillness and tranquility that seemed to be absolute peace. I felt as though I had just floated down to a level of awareness that bottomed out at absolute stillness.
I now took my gaze away from the light and looked around me with this new awareness and somehow knew that all the physical things around me were all made from the same single material. Then I became aware that the infinite stillness had a persona, as if it were a person who was spread out infinitely with no physical attributes to it whatsoever. Then this persona seemed to become focused next to me, on my left hand side and stayed there for about three seconds before merging and entering my own body making us one. Then my awareness really changed. I knew it was God. There was no question.
When this “being” merged with me it came in from all sides at once, even though the being had focused on my left. I felt the most loving embrace. I cannot describe. It actually felt like there was gratitude coming from this being, as if I was being thanked for being honest with myself. The love is indescribable. I became aware of God as the true reality underlying all things. I now knew the infinite nature of God directly and this awareness had a magical as well as a deep romantic quality. I fell in love. My body weight started disappearing and I became weightless within five seconds of the merging. I now felt lighter than the sky and had no need of worrying anymore about anything, so I dropped all my worries as if they were bags I had been carrying around with me all my life.
As I took in this weightlessness a sensation of a cold flickering movement inside my heart area was apparent but very faint at first. This sensation became stronger and stronger the more I became aware of it and it developed over the course of the next few seconds into a column of cold blue flame inside my chest that grew to a height of about ten inches, or 25 cm. The flame filled my chest now, after only a few seconds and I was in bliss. No body weight, no worries, in love and aware of only God as the truth were the characteristics of this moment. The flame lasted for the rest of the time we were walking around the temples of the Angkor complex. We had arrived at 9 am and entered Angkor Wat at 9:30 am. We left the complex at 6 pm, and the flame experience lasted all that time, about 9 hours in total. It slowly calmed down into a strong sense of stillness and presence or body “hum” that seemed to be completely still and yet was humming with a presence that filled my being. I have never been this happy before. Utter bliss.
During our visit to this complex, we went to Bayon in the enclosure called Angkor Thom. This was just after Angkor Wat while I was walking around as a cold blue flame in bliss. I walked up to the first level of Bayon where there are many faces carved into pillars at that level. I stood in front of one of these faces that stood nearly 7 feet high. As I looked at it I was wondering why there are so many faces here. Then the thought came that when you wish to speak with someone, because you have something to tell them, you normally speak face to face. As I thought this there was a sudden sensation of two surfaces rubbing together inside my brain at the location of the pineal gland. It was so startling to me I turned my attention to inside my head because I thought, even though I was in bliss, that something had gone wrong inside my brain.
The instant I did this I saw, in my mind's eye without volition, a black bubble emerging from a tiny point in the centre of my inner view. This bubble was shiny and black like oil and grew from this point as a balloon is blown up. It expanded until it grew to a certain size at which point it detached from the source point and became a free floating bubble of black shiny oil. However, when it detached it immediately burst to reveal a word written in 3-D English capital letters that stated “YOU.” Then another bubble emerged from the point again and did the same things but revealed a different word this time: “ARE.” Then another bubble emerged and revealed the word “MIND.” In the end there were twelve of these bubbles, one after the other, that revealed a complete statement which said this: "You are mind. Mind is stillness. Stillness is timeless. Timeless is eternal."
These words, written in white, were so clear to me they may as well have been physically in front of my face. I had no problem reading them as they were crystal clear and vivid. When they stopped, the image of the Buddha statue came flooding back and remained for the rest of the day until we returned to our hotel where I was left in a state I cannot describe. It was utter peace and contentment with a feeling of being full within such that I could sit all day, every day, and not move ever again. I was happy and content….
Since this experience I have had insights the likes of which are of God mind and have come to know that my inner eye opened. I have interpreted the Egyptian book of coming forth by day through recognition. I can interpret the meaning of religions clearly with great depth along with symbolism the world over. I recognize the ancient world now and what they were doing…