Archives: Submitted Stories

Mystical Experiencer: Man in his mid-sixties
Submission date: September 15, 2023
Current location: Spain
Age at time of experience: 24

Many years ago, after some years of being deeply involved in Siddha Yoga, a traditional Indian spiritual system that included, meditation, chanting, “self-less service” and a study of classic spiritual texts, I saved up enough money and spent almost 3 months in an ashram near Mumbai in India. When I arrived, there was about 30 people staying there, but after a few weeks the guru returned and that number increased to 350.

I was a serious Siddha yoga practitioner and had previously experienced a number of kundalini experiences (blisses, states of expansion, visions) and surrendered joyfully to the non-stop 24/7 demand to practice chanting, meditation, work, and study. I was rising at 4.30 in the morning and meditating a number of times a day, chanting for five hours a day, working as demanded and studying Indian spiritual literature.

My meditation practiced spontaneously changed from internally repeating a mantra, to noticing my breathing, to simply allowing all movements in awareness and external phenomena to be exactly as they were.

After a few months, one beautiful evening while looking at the pink-tinged skies, in an instant it was obvious that there was only the evening. I had completely lost a sense of duality; no myself and a separate environment. Only one event.

There was a sense of great relief, great expansion and a subtle bliss to this “experience of non-separation” between myself and the environment.

After a few days, I still couldn’t find a “myself” or conventional mind. I also knew I had to shortly return to the UK and function in the world.

This sense of non-separate headlessness continued. I would wake with “no head” and spend the day “headless”.

A state of subtle unease arose, how could I function in a Western environment in such an unusual state? I felt powerfully drawn to go to the samadhi (burial) shrine of the guru’s guru in the nearby tiny village.

I went there one afternoon. There was no-one in the temple and trusting completely, I threw my body in full prostration on the floor and surrendered.

In an instant, the full, deep and overwhelming force of eternal divine love-bliss swept me away completely.

It was obvious that this love-bliss is the real nature of every moment of existence. The ever-present undercurrent of all experience.

No time. No space. No form. It is eternal, because all sense of time had disappeared and formless because no sense of a boundary occurs..

When I left the temple, a young Indian boy ran up to me and gave me a small photo of this guru with his hands raised in front of his face. I went to give the boy a few coins, but he said, “No! Bhagavan wants you to have this”. It felt like external confirmation that what had just occurred was not simply an just an internal experience.

Mystical Experiencer: Man in his late thirties
Submission date: July 3, 2023
Current location: Canada
Age at time of experience: 37

I tried psilocybin mushrooms for the first time after reading research papers suggesting they could help with depression and anxiety. Since I had read that high doses were more effective, I took a so-called “heroic dose”, then just relaxed in bed with my eyes closed and waited.

What followed is very hard to describe in words. At first I only felt a physical sensation of acceleration, like I was being launched up into space. Then my sense of self somehow dissolved, and there was sudden awareness of a pure, clear, all-encompassing consciousness. There was no “me” or “I” anymore. There was just awareness of all of space and time. And in that awareness, something was felt that words cannot describe. The closest word might be love, but it falls short and doesn’t come close to truly naming it.

After an unknown time (because time didn’t exist in that experience) my usual sense of self gradually reemerged and I opened my eyes as if waking from a dream, but I was changed. I knew that what I had experienced was the true nature of reality, and that mundane human life is a transient dream-like experience coalesced from that infinite loving consciousness. Ever since, I feel like a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders. My anxiety and recurrent symptoms of depression have vanished.

Mystical Experiencer: Male in his early seventies
Submission date: June 19, 2023
Current location: United States
Age at time of experience: 25

So, I had been practicing TM without much commitment. I had also received Shaktipat from Muktananda, which was an amazing thing. My wife and I planned a big trip to the beach to see if we could buy a house. We took the subway. While packing my backpack I found half a joint in the little pocket and decided to smoke it.

I hadn’t smoked pot in maybe a year. I believe I lost interest because of meditation. The more I meditated, the more I became paranoid, so I didn’t enjoy it. I was mildly stoned, but was quite used to it, having done so thousands of times. I got mildly paranoid, thinking the other riders were noticing I was stoned and I sat down.

My backpack gave me a good posture which seemed to cause an energy in my spine. I started to get nervous and kept my eyes closed and just had inner vision. The golden energy became very strong, shooting up my spine and out the top of my head. It had the force of a firehouse on full blast. It was ripping me against my will, out of my body. I was certain I would either die or be insane forever. I now feel my small self was being annihilated, and self-annihilation is the root of all fear. That was what was on me. I fought it with all I had, but the golden light firehose was unstoppable, and I succumbed.

Everything changed. I opened my eyes and all the people were orbs of golden light. I was feeling very good like I had overcome my death fear. I had the overwhelming certain knowledge that this was the true knowledge that completed me and all others. It was certain as a sledgehammer over the head. Absolutely. I felt I could know anything, but actually got lost on the subway and ended up at the Statue of Liberty.

When I had to focus I could see the entire subway system in my mind’s eye. I had knowledge of many things. I felt time and space were erased. When we got back on the street I realized my physical self had also been transformed. I was in a state of physical Grace.

My skeleton and tendons and muscles were released from neurosis, which inhibits them. Everything I saw it was with new eyes and full of light. I was in a state of grace in every way. I knew with absolute certainty that this was the correct way of life and that every person has this at their core.

My wife was asking me “‘what’s up with you?’. All I could say was ‘’you know’’ I felt all people have this because it is the basic reality. I could not speak about it, beyond saying ‘’You Know’’.

Mystical Experiencer: Woman in her early forties
Submission date: June 2, 2023
Current location: United States
Age at time of experience: 39

Initially I saw what I describe as an apocalyptic forest, a small grouping of trees and plants which moved through a cycle of birth and death. Death from becoming violently extent due to human action.

As I walked on from plants to rock, I turned my thoughts to intentionally processing the grief of being unable to become pregnant after years of trying. This became an overwhelming physical sensation of waves of grief, sadness, anger. Lots of yelling.
Walking on again, I came to a short rock wall ledge where I lay down in the sun.

As I looked up into the sky I had geometric visuals and felt pure love. It was a presence of acceptance, kindness…and all-encompassing love. It felt very strongly of some other presence. There wasn’t a face necessarily but it was so similar to an Alex Grey piece of art with forms made of color, shapes made of pulsing energy, moving and seemingly made of light. I felt I was being shown a glimpse into what another reality was or this reality could be or most importantly what is possible. I’ve not been able to describe the goodness, the lightness, the surety of that love and that potential.

My boyfriend came to find me and help me walk back to camp. As we walked I felt physical waves of sickness, difficulty catching my breath, interspersed with more geometric glimpses and the pure love presence. Every time I hugged and kissed my boyfriend, I saw in my mind’s eye that we were both this same pulsing light energy bodies as in the previous vision. It felt fated, beautiful, pure, and genuine.

From there I experienced a lengthy and gentle come down which was more logical and I was able to sit with what I’d just experienced.

Mystical Experiencer: Man in his late fifties
Submission date: May 27, 2023
Current location: United States
Age at time of experience: 49

The breathwork sessions I did on my own were intense. The breathwork sessions I did with a facilitator at my side were even more intense. I can hardly describe these sessions. They are vivid, cathartic and mystical in their own right. The one particular guided breathwork session where I had a mystical experience was far and above more spectacular than anything I ever experienced before. Since it’s hard to describe one of my regular sessions, imagine the impotency of words attempting to describe this one experience. It’s beyond description, but my experience is similar or the same to what is described online or in writings by others.

With a guiding breathwork facilitator, I began the session as we did in the past. I was on a table, lying on my back with my eyes closed. This time an inviting enveloping bright light started to dominate the session. It started small and grew rather quickly. The light was both within me and it surrounded me. I was thrilled with the experience. It was the most , welcoming light you can imagine. It was infinite in its size scope and brightness. Then there were feelings of unity, love, and ‘oneness’ which were beyond powerful. The deep knowledge and expansive appreciation that everyone and everything are “one” brought tears of joy. I was sobbing tears of joy and was in total awe. I was no longer in the room. My existence was on a plane with the entire universe. I did not want to leave this state.

But at some point, I came into my body still glowing and still in awe of the gift I was given. Once I could appreciate the presence of the facilitator, Sandra, I remember speaking my first words. Still sobbing tears of immense joy, I said “I was touched by the light of God.” That’s what happened. I was touched by the light of God. Back in my body I was still glowing and felt like I was floating. I was concerned about driving home but managed to do so. I was filled with love for everything and everyone. I felt like I was still aglow. Once home I sat in the car contemplating encountering my wife and two small children. Would they know I was different? I managed to interact with them in a normal way. As time went on the glowing feeling got less and less. It lasted about 5 days. Initially, I was immune from stress and frustration, but as time went on, I returned to my typical experience.

Eventually the stress of life returned. But I’ve always kept the memory of this gift.
For years, I never spoke of the event. I had no idea what it was. During my breathwork sessions I’ve always hoped it would repeat itself, but it never has. Recently I learned what a kundalini awakening is. When I had my experience, I had no knowledge of such things. I feel I had a kundalini awakening. I’ve always drawn strength from

experience, and I am beyond appreciative, but I would certainly not say I remain enlightened. I really don’t know what long term effects it’s had on me. I suspect there have been good things. Mostly I appreciate the gift.

Mystical Experiencer: Woman in her early sixties
Submission date: March 4, 2023
Current location: Canada
Age at time of experience: 26

I was relaxing, almost in the state just before sleeping. I was laying down with my eyes closed. As I relaxed deeper, I saw myself walking on a path that had many beautiful flowers along its border. I could hear chimes since there was a slight breeze. I was surrounded by trees, birds and nature. The sun was very warm as I walked along the path. Then all of a sudden, I was gone, in the sense that my physical body was gone.

I was there but not in my solid physical self. I was the brilliant flowers swaying in the breeze, I was the color of the flowers! I was the sound of the chimes, I was the clouds, the trees and everything that was around my physical body. I was everything and I was expansive. I had no borders so to speak, no physical borders. I was everything and everything was me.

Mystical Experiencer: Man in his early sixties
Submission date: February 26, 2023
Current location: United States
Age at time of experience: 58

I woke up to use the restroom and when I went back to bed. I began falling asleep yet retained my consciousness (aka a lucid dream or beginning to drift into sleep). At this time, since I was already amid worshiping God, I surrendered my spirit to Him. I felt my soul’s physical departure from my body. I sensed being lifted out of my bed, upward then into a void blackness.

This out of body experience was accompanied by a sense of full surrender and trust in God. When I should have feared the absolute void, I gave my full trust to God. A vision began to form and slowly I found myself floating near the ceiling of a large cathedral. A priest was consecrating the Holy eucharist and a choir which was not visible to me was praising God, singing “How Great Thou Art”. As I joined the choir, I felt a unity with God that I never felt before. What I felt was an infinite sense of love and oneness with God. It was as if I was a single atom but felt the immensity and power (expressed as love) of an infinite sun. When I say infinite, I truly mean I could not put a measure to this – it was expansive, overwhelming yet I felt I was completely at home. I was infused and saturated with God’s love and wonder. While as I experienced this all the answers in the universe were known, yet now it’s impossible to impact a fair facsimile of what actually took place.

There are no human words to impart how I felt. At the same time, I received some infusion of knowledge but not in a rational sense. I learned that God’s love and mercy is infinite in depth and time and for my soul too understood that it has loved God and been love forever as well. I praised God throughout this experience and could have continued doing so forever. But then my vision dissipated slowly, and I became fully conscious. This was a glimpse into I think the 4th or 5th mansion as described by St Theresa of Avila. A glimpse of heaven. Truly a gift I will never forget, but also a slight foretaste of what I hope will greet my soul and when I die. I want to stress that this was a gift following an invitation. Had I not entrusted my soul to God, I would have awoken. But I did and I received an infusion of grace I could never earn on my own merit. I will say I understand God’s presence cannot be fathomed with our human minds and it’s no wonder people who have passed on temporarily don’t want to return. It’s as if you are blind then given a view of the sunrise over the ocean – then your sight is taken away. Our physical bodies are so limited in this way. This was a “red pill” awakening.

Mystical Experiencer: Man in his early forties
Submission date: February 25, 2023
Current location: Belgium
Age at time of experience: 14

I was sitting in our garden, fascinated by the body of a deceased pigeon lying there. A bunch of ants came crawling towards it. I was utterly captivated and kept staring at this little scene. Then, suddenly, barriers fell away, I was no longer staring at the ants: Instead, the ants and I became one. Then, this oneness grew, like ripples on water: I also became one with the pigeon. And then, rapidly, I felt (I was) becoming one with the surrounding grass, the flowers, the trees in the woods behind our garden, the hedge, the house, the people inside the houses, then the clouds, the sky, the mountains, until I merged with the whole cosmos. This lasted for several hours.

Mystical Experiencer: Person in their mid-thirties
Submission date: February 14, 2023
Current location: United States
Age at time of experience: 34

I went to the dark sea of infinity. I was no body and nothing, and yet I was everything and nothing at the same time. It was dark but I could see I was pure consciousness, no thoughts absolutely nothing. Time did not exist, it felt timeless.

It’s been very challenging, after this experience, to integrate all these experiences and to let deconstruction of all or any conditioning from life dissolve. Time has become an illusion and I’m currently experiencing it all simultaneously in the now moment, moment to moment staying in observation of it all.

Mystical Experiencer: Man in his late forties
Submission date: February 12, 2023
Current location: United States
Age at time of experience: 46

I am in recovery and am a member of a few 12-step fellowships. Since entering them in 2013, I have routinely prayed and meditated, even though I did not necessarily believe there was something out there because that was what I learned to do. When I was 45, a close friend and mentor instructed me to seek guidance on a matter I was struggling with from the Universe by conducting an experiment: posing a question and requesting a sign if the answer to my question was a “yes”.

I did not think the experiment was likely to yield an answer, but I was open-minded and went along with it. I got an answer. I could not believe it. So, my mentor suggested I ask for a confirmatory sign. I did. And I got confirmation. This experience radically altered my view of things. It confirmed for me that there was a higher power.

Less than a year later, I went to rehab for drug addiction, and while at rehab, I made a practice of going out on to the mountain and meditating in silence. In the course of this practice, I had a sense that I was not alone. There was something with me, guiding me. I heard it and felt it in the cold, in the trees, and in the wind. That was my mystical experience, and I was radically altered in the remaining time in rehab.

Since then, I have had many experiences–signs, “coincidences”, messages, and the like–that I do not necessarily regard as “mystical” like the one I experienced on that mountain in February of 2021. But I know that there is something out there that is guiding me and others.

It is the truth and reality that many seekers have found since time immemorial and is the wellspring from which religions and many spiritual traditions have arisen, and my search for it continues to this day. I have successfully reproduced this experience often in my morning meditation and conscious contact with God on a number of occasions.