Mystical Experiencer: Male in early fifties
Submission date: July 1, 2021
Current location: United Kingdom
Age at time of experience: 42
The most significant event of my life was not the birth of my son but what happened ten weeks later – the first time I took him into town on my own – just the two of us.
It was a bright autumn morning as I drove into Colchester – my home town at the time. I parked up and started walking toward the town centre, happily pushing my son, Isaac, in his pram.
I had a strong feeling of being proud to be a dad as I walked along the pavement, smiling at passers-by.
I started wondering about how marvellous pavements are and that this one had been laid just for us and for this very moment. I silently thanked the people who had laid it.
Soon, all objects took on special significance: lampposts were an incredible invention; buildings, glass windows, cars racing up and down the road, some with music blaring out, were all viewed as marvellous creations.
The words and thoughts going through my mind were, “How wonderful that someone invented…”
This sense of wonder became mixed with a real feeling of compassion and love for all things…
I clearly remember a black guy passing me with a huge beaming smile. I could feel an energy of love going back and forth from his heart to mine. It reminded me of the scene in the film Donnie Darko when Donnie has a type of energy vortex coming out of his chest.
The feeling of wonder and love intensified and within another minute or so everything became ONE THING. There was no subject and object. All ‘things’ existed as ‘one thing’.
Time stood still: I had entered eternity.
There was no ‘me’ at this point, although I was able to continue pushing the pram through a park. It was as if I was floating and the pram was effortlessly moving itself, even up steps. The ancient Chinese might refer to it as Wu Wei – effortless action.
The consciousness that had filled my mind-body was observing itself and recognising that everything – animate and inanimate – is made of love. Everything in the universe (which in this eternal moment was just one thing) is made of love. Love is the molecular building block of all life and all things.
Pure consciousness at this point. Oneness. Unity. The sacred marriage. The Holy Spirit had been birthed within me and I had a strong feeling of having been ‘born again’.
It was only upon exiting the park and walking out onto the next busy street that I ‘came to’. I had to cross a road and it seemed as if my attention was drawn back to normal consciousness.
But immediately I knew I’d experienced something profound. Words don’t get close to describing the immensity of the experience which, today, over ten years later, remains the most significant twenty minutes of my life.
For weeks afterwards, my levels of compassion, empathy, altruism, tolerance and acceptance were all intensified.
I’ve since come to believe that the whole episode may have been triggered by two main factors…
1) I was studying 3 books on mysticism and spiritual awakening at the time – I’d had glimpses of such things through the use of psychedelics in the past and had always remained interested in the subject, and
2) I may have been seeing the world through the eyes of my 10-week old son; unconditional love for All That Is (no judgements, no preconceptions – just pure consciousness) and somehow my consciousness had merged with his.
I’ve spent the last decade trying to understand what really happened to my consciousness in those 20 minutes. Stumbling upon an old book about Advaita Vedanta helped to answer some of the questions.
It seems as if, during those moments of oneness, pure consciousness had possessed me and was observing itself out there. Inside and outside was one and the same thing. The mirror had been wiped clean and gave a perfect reflection of the Truth.
I’m changed since then. A gravitational shift occurred in those eternal moments. I now try to use this experience to help others in my therapy practice.
It was – and will always remain – the pivotal point in my life.