All was Light

Mystical Experiencer:  Male (age not reported)
Current location:  U.S.A.
Age at time of experience:  57

I was at Descanso Gardens, alone. My father had recently passed away. I was sitting on a bench at a favorite spot, Fern Canyon, which has a waterfall trickling through it. Was simply relaxing, listening to the soft sound of the water. When I felt a change within, in my consciousness. And then there was present a light from within that became so bright that I no longer was aware of my senses…all was light. And then a voice became audible, not to my ears, but within, to my spirit.

This voice informed me of my life: who I was and why I had come into the world. I experienced timelessness. Then the voice transitioned into silence. And then, the light I had been experiencing became more intense. And I experienced what I had heard and read of but never experienced: unconditional love. I had the sense of a willingness to die right then & there if only I could remain precisely where I was, even if it meant not saying goodbye to loved ones. This final state lasted perhaps 5 or 10 minutes. And then it was over.

Absolute Love and Peace

Mystical Experiencer:  Male in late sixties
Current location:  U.S.A.
Age at time of experience:  37

I awoke to a living, loving light…I felt that absolute love and peace was “breathing” through every cell of my body.  I was surrounded by an ocean of divine love…waves of love went out and in.  In the morning I shared the experience with my wife. 

Two years prior to my ineffable experience, images of Jesus appeared in my home…from a reflection in a goldfish bowl to a frosted image of the shroud image of Jesus’ face (my wife and son saw the image as well).  It was on a window pane next to the front door.

For a number of years I was filled with an urgency to read and research.  I spoke with Harvey Egan SJ College as well as other theologians and / or spiritual advisors.

Today I appreciate the experience and I know that GOD is LOVE.

Six months ago I was told by my surgeon that I had three to six months to live…I have rectal cancer.

And I meditate on the living loving light of the most high to “cure” the cancer.  I am at peace as I live each day.

At One with the Pure Awareness

Mystical Experiencer:  Male in mid-sixties
Current location:  U.S.A.
Age at time of experience:  30

While listening to music, I became the music, which took me what seemed like out of my body, through the star field, and eventually into the Void of complete and eternal darkness. After being transported beyond the barrier of the container in which I had been diffused or decayed like the music, I remained for an eternal length of time suspended in eternal darkness and silence.

I knew I was in the place both where you are after you die and where you are before you are born. Both of these realizations were without emotion and purely observations. After being “shown” many paradoxes, from both their opposing sides, and being suspended in eternity, like being inside a black velvet lining of a womb like infinite vastness, I realized “I was nothing”. 

Upon this realization, in response, I then lost any sense of I or self and became one with that which is aware of everything in the universe at the same time. Not from one thing to the next but everything simultaneously. I vacillated between feeling “I” was nothing and being at one with the pure awareness that is aware of everything in the universe for all eternity, simultaneously. 

Eventually I remained in the position of being nothing, again suspended in eternal darkness and silence. After some time in this eternal darkness I understood a directive or instruction or suggestion to turn around and look back.  Despite not having a body I had a sense of the direction that I had come in and somehow turned my focus, gazing into the darkness only in one direction, in the direction I felt I had come from.

I gazed in this direction for some time, seeing only infinite darkness, and then thought I saw the faintest glimmer of light eons away.  I tried to penetrate deeper with my “sight” even though I had no physical eyes really, and after a while again saw a glimmer of light.  This time I focused on the faint speck and felt an attraction to it.  As soon as this desire arose I began to be drawn toward the light at a tremendous rate of increasing acceleration as I had experienced before when going through the star field.  As I got closer, I began to slow and eventually stopped.  I was now hovering over an enormous luminous orange sphere.  It seemed to be as large as a planet. I wanted to descend down into it and slowly started to do so by the draw of this desire. 

After a short time of slowly descending, a voice a bit behind me and to my right suddenly said in panic “My self, my self, what about my self?  I am losing my self!?”  With the hearing of this panicked concerned voice, my descent was halted and I was immediately retracted back through the path I had taken to get there, wherever that was. 

At a similar ever increasing acceleration rate, I traveled back through the darkness, through the place where I had turned around, through the barrier, through the star field and slammed back into the chest of my body lying on the floor. It was known immediately to me that I had just experienced real reality, normal reality.  Everything else up to that experience was not real reality.

Unconditional Love is the Indivisible Nature of Self

Mystical Experiencer:  Female in mid-sixties
Current location:  U.S.A.
Age at time of experience:  44

I experienced the ultimate experience of love, which is unconditional. That was the tremendous experience I received, which was so overwhelming because I felt I was not worthy of such love. Yet this unconditional love was given without any such preconception.

It seems it was in retrospect that [the experience] had happened spontaneously on my spontaneous forgiveness of my husband in a moment of compassion toward him after years of a built up anger and resentment.

My heart seemed to dissolve all the layers of defense against love built up over so long in a moment of complete understanding. [I saw] him as an innocent child, who he himself had acted toward me based on, [due to] his lack of unconditional love.

Ultimately: Unconditional love is the indivisible nature of self. That universal consciousness which may realize atonement by grace.

We are All Connected. There is No Separation.

Mystical Experiencer:  Female in mid-sixties
Current location:  New Zealand
Age at time of experience:  11

Standing at my bedroom window I was looking out at a tree about twenty feet away, and suddenly the world became transparent and I could see the outline of the tree and molecules ? moving along the tree across the ground and up into me and back again. I was filled with joy.

I just knew from that moment that everything is made of the same stuff and we are all connected. There is no separation. It has stayed with me all my life.

Total Acceptance and Love

Mystical Experiencer:  Female in mid-seventies
Current location:  U.S.A.
Age at time of experience:  19

After night prayers in the chapel, I retired to a dorm room with many other religious candidates. I was in deep prayer and longing as I lay in the dark. Suddenly my spirit? separated from my body. My spirit rose above me & I could see my body in bed.  I then went through a black tunnel that opened to a brilliant light that was total acceptance and love.  I wanted to stay but knew I had to go back. I thought I had seen God at the time.

The peace and love was indescribable. Total acceptance. I saw no one but was filled with joy basking in the light.

At the time I thought it was the God of my religion, but now after many different experiences, I feel it was a manifestation of the unknown mystery of existence that is part of our humanity.

Total Awe and Bliss and One-ness with Everything

Mystical Experiencer: Female in mid-sixties
Current location: United Kingdom
Age at time of experience:  7

I was ‘playing out’ with a group of friends in the woods. We were heading for a small stream at the bottom of a hill to go and catch minnows in jam jars. My friends went on before me but I sat down under a tree for some reason (maybe to get a stone out of my shoe or something).

The woods were beautiful, and the sunlight was playing through the trees. Suddenly I felt myself leaving my body and ‘joining in’ with all the nature around me (like Jane Goodall's experience, on your site, which resonated with me). My consciousness was entirely outside of my body but there was no fear at all – I was engulfed with a feeling of total awe and bliss and one-ness with everything around me. I was completely at peace and knew absolutely that I was created out of love as was all of the creation around me. I knew that I never wanted it to end. Then I began to feel my consciousness come back into my body and really didn't like the feeling of limitation that it brought. When I was fully ‘back’ there were tears rolling down my cheeks. After a while, I went to join my friends at the stream and there was a kind of ‘afterglow’ around everything, the water, the laughter of my friends, everything.

When I got home my father was digging in the garden and I said to him ‘Dad? You know God?’ to which my dad replied ‘Yes, dear’, and I said ‘Dad, I know what God is, now.’ He said ‘That's nice, dear’ and carried on digging. That was when I knew that there was no adult who could explain this to me or help me understand. My dad was the kindest and most loving person I have ever known but had lost his faith and was an atheist.

Thereafter I took myself off to church in the hope that somebody would explain/validate what had happened to me but they just gave me pictures of Jesus to colour in! It has affected my whole life and now I am an ordained Anglican priest because of it.

I Felt The Whole of Life as One Massive Consciousness

Mystical Experiencer:  Female in mid-sixties
Current location:  United Kingdom
Age at time of experience:  15

I was walking fast as the sun was low and flickering between the trees. In a good mood and very relaxed. 

Suddenly I felt out of body and progressively in the trees nearby, then life further away, then part of all life everywhere. I felt things being born, existing and dying all at the same moment. I felt the whole of life as one massive consciousness. 

Then slowly I was pulled away and back into my own isolated body.

A Pure Experience of The Boundless Void

Mystical Experiencer:  Male in early eighties
Current location:  Thailand
Age at time of experience:  32

Suddenly all organic feedback from my emotional apparatus to my cerebral mental processes was suspended. My slate was wiped clean…. I had stepped outside of humanity even though I was still the same human being. I had a clear visual perception into an indeterminate formless distance that could be seen right through the walls of the room. The room lost its substantiality, becoming but a filmy transparent veneer over a vast and shining sea of mist. It was the boundless Void. 

A series of intuitive realizations came to me in an orderly sequence. They were intentionally fed to me from a source other than my personal being. I was aware that they came from another source that was different also from the tragic face of humanity. Organic feedback that normally fills one’s mental processes ceased to function….

The intuitive perceptions that began to come were not organic in nature at all. They were cosmic. First there was a perception into the formless distance of unlimited possibilities. I intuitively recognized that possibilities need not be confined in any way, that their range is unlimited. I seemed able to see forever into the depths of the shining Void. 

This was followed by a few examples, most of which I cannot find words to describe. One of them was the possibility of unlimited lifespan. This brought with it a trace of anxiety about how to relate to an indefinite lifespan when our thoughts are so conditioned to a brief lifetime of striving ending in death.  But even this latter concern was an intuitive one that was part of the series that was fed to me. My thoughts and emotions were being controlled. I was a passive observer to mental and emotional processes orchestrated by a source distinct from me. 

I took another step or two when the most disconcerting thing happened, though I didn’t feel it so at the time. Everything vanished completely! The room, the city, the planet, the universe, even my own body, all just vanished completely! There was no loss of a sense of identity, despite not being identified with a body. 

I had no thoughts, no physical body, no perceptible body of any kind. I was an integral part of the vast and shining sea of mist that contained no forms whatsoever. It was an identity in emptiness with the whole of being. It was experienced with wonder, a pure sense of being and wonder. There was no organic rapture, no heavenly bliss, no pain, no loss, no gain, no sorrow. 

Everything was balanced in a field of pure being and wonder. It was like gazing into a silvery moonlit night without the moon or stars, even while being an integral part of the emptiness. It was a vast Void with a boundless quality of indeterminate depth. 

In a moment everything returned again as a thin transparent veneer, but only for a moment. Then everything was gone again. This happened several times in succession as if someone was switching the entire universe on and off to deliberately show me something. There was a reciprocal correspondence between the world of Form and the Void.

[During my experiences], the Supreme Being [had] emanated unblemished love toward me….  I am profoundly grateful for the experiences. Many questions are answered for me. I do not have to believe in anything. I know.

God explicitly demonstrated that there was NO Being apart from His Being. This was not deniable. I faced total psychic annihilation as the ONLY option. The experience nearly destroyed me utterly because there was no language, no way to make rational left brain sense of it and yet both hemispheres of my brain saw and experienced everything. The only words I could find were the quadrilemma that came to me even though I had never heard of it before. 

What they call nirvana is the Void. The pure experience of the Void is an awesome life changing experience. God transcends and subsumes the Void and can use it as a medium of communication. He does not communicate in language, although he did once identify Himself by the one word “God” that filled my whole being.

We are One in God’s Love

Mystical Experiencer:  Female in early seventies
Current location:  U.S.A.
Age at time of experience:  69

I was attending a spiritual retreat. I had just been sitting in an outdoor area, listening to a question and answer session. It had become cool and I did not have a wrap. The person seated next to me noticed that I was cold and offered to warm me by sitting shoulder to shoulder with me.  I was very moved by this gesture and lost my ability to concentrate on the speaker. 

From this activity I went to join my daughter and granddaughter in the line for Amma's darshan. As I knelt before Amma, I began to cry and Amma began to drop rose petals on my head. It felt as though I was crying rose petals. I suddenly felt the oneness of everything.  The realization that Amma and I and everything and everyone are one in God and one in God's love. 

I remained in this state for nearly 2 days. I could function (walk, eat, etc.) but the actions were as though through a veil. I wished I could remain with this “knowingness” always. In a way, I have remained with it because I remain absolutely certain that we are one in God's love.