Archives: Submitted Stories

Mystical Experiencer:  Male in mid-forties
Submission date:  November 8, 2021
Current location:  Canada
Age at time of experience:  22

During my undergrad in Anthropology, I took several courses on altered states of consciousness and the phenomenology of religion. A group of 6 friends decided to get a large amount of mushrooms and take incrementally more each weekend until we had a breakthrough experience. Once we took 5 or more grams the breakthroughs happened.

We would sit comfortably in a meditative state in a place where we could lay down. We had soft music playing and soft lighting. One of us was designated the “lightning rod” who stayed sober to help if the doorbell rang or there was anything to deal with. Once the trip started there were many segments or vignettes, most of which cannot be encapsulated by words. The initial most memorable segment was when I turned into a vibration (colour) and shot out of my body straight up and quickly left the earth.

Space was a thick soup of all of the questions and answers of the universe, but I couldn’t make them out as I was moving too quickly. I continued to gain speed as I left the solar system moving towards the edges of the universe. Once I reached the edge of the universe I split in half and started to move around the edges of the universe at increasing speed.

Eventually, my vibration encompassed the entire edge of the universe and came together causing an explosion. The explosion pushed me into another realm where I saw a giant pool of all of the vibrations of everything that has and ever will live, where all life begins and ends, like a giant pool, that felt deeply like home. It was like I was being shown this by something/someone that knew me more intimately than anyone, and then I realized I was in the presence of God.

Not the God that you are told about at Sunday school with the robe and beard, actual God. The entity that came up with all of this. It wasn’t a person but like me also a vibration. Not a male or female but for the sake of convenience, I will say he. We communicated telepathically. Like my soul to his. I could feel a sense of pure love and home. He comforted me as I was shaken by this experience. It was a feeling like a warm smile and embrace by the one who has loved me before I existed. He told me he was happy with me and it had been a while. I felt a profound sense of being home and comfort.

I met him again a few times after that but that one experience alone made me not fear death as I had seen where we head after this and it doesn’t scare me. After this segment with God, there were many other somewhat confusing segments that words cannot accurately describe, but I know that what I experienced is real down to my last molecule. I don’t share this account with people as I fear they will think I am not right in the head. It has been more than 20 years since my first true encounter with God and every time I walked away with a line to remember. Things such as “Watch what you are doing”.

I grew up Mennonite and after my 20s have found organized religion silly. It is hard for me to listen to someone telling me what God wants me to do when they have never met him. The hardest part of all of this is keeping it to myself, as I want to share my experience as I know it was more real than anything.

Mystical Experiencer:  Female in late thirties
Submission date:  October 24, 2021
Current location:  Germany
Age at time of experience:  39

I felt completed and connected with the universe. Felt unconditional love! Felt like all the world around me and myself are one. Heard Goddess voice accepting me and nurturing me! Felt like I’m part of the sky!

Mystical Experiencer:  Female in mid-eighties
Submission date:  October 7, 2021
Current location:  U.S.A.
Age at time of experience:  4

At the age of four, I’d been spending a lot of time thinking about what “me” and “self” actually meant. I could see that “me-ness” and “selfhood” seemed at once both real and unreal. I held my hand in front of my face, and moved my fingers, noticing that my mind was able to control the movement of what appeared to be an external object.

One day I was on the stairs in my parents’ house and doing this, when I began to feel both happy and also frightened, as if I might be in danger of losing my “self.” It was frightening enough that I thought I might need to pull myself back from it.

Then I looked up and saw that everything within my view—the stairs, the wallpaper, the inside of the house, and, by extension everything—everything—was all the same, that distinctions between one thing and another weren’t real, as it was actually all the same stuff. I was having an immediate, visceral, certain experience of unity. And that somehow made it clear that everything is always perfectly okay. No danger, no fear.

The effect was gone in a few minutes, but it was an absolutely undeniable certainty.

Mystical Experiencer:  Male in mid-forties
Submission date:  September 10, 2021
Current location:  Croatia
Age at time of experience:  42

I felt something strange…I noticed the air around had something different, transparent, but like a different thickness. I felt the presence. Suddenly, something invisible was pushing me. I was sitting and keeping balance with my hands pressed against the pebbly road. The pushes were strong and very physical…like some invisible big hand was pushing me. And the feeling of someone’s presence became strong.

Never experienced such a feeling before… the feeling of something being present everywhere, so intense, powerful, otherworldly. I was astonished. The feeling inside me was also new, unexperienced before, very powerful, very deep, very profound. I think I was a bit scared at this point…I spontaneously had a thought in my head saying ‘Is this good or evil?’ and I received the answer: ‘I am love’.  I felt unbelievable comfort and love. I asked in shock and disbelief ‘why me?’ and I received the answer ‘it’s a gift.

This communication was like telepathy…there was another level of communication which I can describe as a sort of understanding without forming the words, the communication beyond human words and sentences…like the thoughts that are not words, like the language that’s not anything human because to me, my thoughts are always words, and this is beyond that, and yet I understand it. I could understand that this contact and communication came from everywhere and it was so intelligent, so beyond my human intelligence.

In my human mind, I never felt smaller, I never felt my human limits so clearly as in those moments. I clearly felt this was the contact and communication with the ultimate divine force. My human mind searched among familiar things to explain what was experiencing, and I concluded that the closest word for this to explain was God. I received the message that was not a reply to any question saying  ‘I am power’. I lost contact for a moment. I looked into the sky and I said ‘You are power, you are love’ and soon communication continued. I was in a state of trance…but conscious. I kept saying ‘how could I ever had any doubts about your existence.’

I was chanting in a nice melody ‘you are the power, you are love’. This chanting came very spontaneously and effortlessly…I could not repeat it after. My eyes were like waterfalls, the tears were just water pouring without stopping. The feeling inside me was indescribable…it was more intense than any joy and happiness I ever felt.

From time to time, I could hear my friends calling my name. They were only about 200 meters from me. I could not see them, but I could hear them. I would stop for a second and just scream so that they can hear me: ‘I am here, I am fine!’. From time to time, I would stop also to check if anybody was walking this road I was sitting on. I was concerned that some stranger might pass by and find me acting strange.

After I would check around me, I would return to communication and chanting…always starting with ‘You are power, you are love’ The communication lasted about 2 hours. There were simple things I asked and there was this other level of communication different from words and more complex in understanding. At some point, even though the experience was still as strong as in the start, I realized it was time to return to the group. I returned and I spent the rest of the day and evening barely communicating. I was so deeply touched…shocked…

Mystical Experiencer:  Male in early seventies
Submission date:  August 24, 2021
Current location:  U.S.A.
Age at time of experience:  26

Following a year-long period of surrendering to love and a dedication and commitment to meditation and dance, I participated in a complete and healthy Kundalini awakening. I was performing a yoga posture that I learned from Yogi Bhajan when a ball of energy rose up from the base of my spine and traveled to the seventh chakra. At the moment the energy reached the crown chakra, there was no sensory awareness or ego awareness; there was only white light. It was an event and not an experience since there was only light, and not me seeing light. This lasted only about 10 seconds, after which my ego awareness returned, but in a state far different than before. I knew that I was united with the Divine and that my consciousness was irrevocably altered.

In the 45 years since my awakening, I’ve lived a creative, productive, and fulfilling life. I’ve continued spiritual practices over the years and studied the wisdom teachings of the masters, saints, and prophets of many religions, particularly those of the Sufi tradition. I married and raised a child. I retired from an extensive and varied career in information technology, holding various positions as a systems analyst, software designer, project leader and manager. I also continued studying and performing dance, performing in over 100 shows with several dance companies of diverse styles.  I am currently developing my own style of inter-spiritual sacred dance, which I have called Radiant Dance.

Mystical Experiencer:  Male in late twenties
Submission date:  August 20, 2021
Current location:  U.K.
Age at time of experience:  29

I was walking into Durham through the woods, listening to music, and watching the wind move through the leaves in the trees. It’s very hard to describe the feeling itself but the best I can say it was a warm fuzzy feeling and a sense that there was no separation between myself and the outside world. That I, just like the rustling of leaves, was just a happening, something that the whole universe is doing right now, that everyone and everything else was that too, that bad and good were just subjective, and that my perception of them was subjective and tied to my ego.

Without that attachment to the ego, these things too, that I considered good or bad, were just happenings. It was a very liberating feeling, that even now writing makes me feel happier. Now that I’ve thought about it, I can say that I felt not only as if I was a thing caught in the flow of a river, but also that another part of me was the river itself.

Mystical Experiencer:  Female in late fifties
Submission date:  July 25, 2021
Current location:  U.S.A.
Age at time of experience:  29

At the time, I was 29 years old and had been raised by parents who went to an Assembly of God church in Texas, a lot.  I played along with what my parents and the church sort of expected, but was not close to God until my late twenties when I read the Bible a few times and enjoyed praying and kind of worshiping alone at home.  I resonated more strongly with the Bible if I had a little bit of weed to smoke at the time.

I had to go to the Dentist for two root canals, and I knew I would be stuck in the “chair” for a good long time.  I decided I would spend that time in silent prayer and worship.  Let me point out that I have had nitrous oxide/laughing gas before this event and after, and it was just the normal experience, nothing close to what happened that day.  (Since the experience, I have been thrilled and excited to have dental problems bad enough to require nitrous oxide, hoping that I could have the experience again – has not happened.)

So, as soon as the nitrous oxide started, I said to the Dentist and his assistant “I’ll bet heaven feels like laughing gas.”  They kind of laughed, and I relaxed to start praying/worshiping, and . . . wham . . . it was like my mind got slammed to the back of my skull.  I had awareness of the Dentist but all my attention was on this state of being I was experiencing.  It’s so hard to put into words, but it was this all-encompassing bliss, bliss, bliss.  I think bliss is the closest word I can use to describe it, but it’s not nearly good enough.  My eyes were closed, I did not see anything in this experience….

I was just in such amazement, just experiencing this one constant state of bliss, it did not have degrees of the bliss, it was a constant state of being, not waves of it.  I wondered if I might die in the Dentist’s chair?  It was not an experience I had ever, ever heard of before in my entire life.  I clearly recall thinking/experiencing – that this state of being was all anyone could ever ask for.  It was not possible to ask for anything more than that state of bliss/being.  A better experience is not possible.

I remember thinking that I did not need the experience of heaven that I had been taught about in Christian church.  All I wanted was to be connected to, to be joined with that consciousness, the state of being, the bliss.  I never needed a body, eyes, other people, nothing.  All anyone could ask for was that state of being.  It was everything, nothing lacking.  I couldn’t get enough of it.

And then, nature called. I desperately had to go to the restroom (I remember regretting having 2 cups of coffee that morning), and when I had to stop the Dentist and ask him to let me use the restroom, the experience ended.

Mystical Experiencer:  Male in early seventies
Submission date:  July 6, 2021
Current location:  U.S.A.
Age at time of experience:  20

I was lying in bed and I decided to do my own version of a relaxation exercise I was reading about. On each inhale I would mentally say, ‘Re,’ then on each exhale, I would say, ‘lax.’ I continued to do this exercise and began to go into light, but still conscious sleep. I remember I tried pay attention to my heartbeat as I did this.

Soon, it wasn’t like I was breathing myself, but more like I was being breathed. As I got deeper into this rhythm, I felt a tension gathering in my forehead. Soon, it got very tight in the center of my forehead. All at once the tension released in a vision of clouds parting.

At that point, I was awake and realized all the tension in my body was gone and with it all the fears I had ever had. My body seemed gone in the way I usually experience it. I was not separate from the rest of the Universe!

Then, almost as quickly as it had come, it was gone. All my fears came back and I realized my ego, my sense of self, was built on tension. I finally got to sleep. I tried many times to repeat the experience with the relaxation exercise. I never worked.

What I learned was and is that all fear is based entirely on our physical and mental sense of our bodies and our sense of separation from the rest of the Universe. Fear is illusion. Oneness and peace are real.

Mystical Experiencer:  Male in late sixties
Submission date:  July 3, 2021
Current location:  U.S.A.
Age at time of experience:  49

On August 25, 2001, a Saturday morning, at about 10:00 o’clock in Tacoma, WA, I was sitting at my computer reading a new NDE Experience on my computer and listening to ‘A Day Without Rain’ by Enya.

The NDE story focused on a woman that was going through a major operation, and her heart had stopped. She had recognized a disturbing error in her past behavior during her life review while experiencing the great light on the other side. She remembered what was really important in life (“Putting people before pursuits”), as in her past, she was more interested in pursuits.

As I dwelled on the quote, tears began to stream down my face; I recognized that I too shared this same character deficiency. This was a deep striking truth that penetrated me emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. I thought about how I had harmed and pushed away many of the people in my life, too busy accomplishing through single-minded acts of focusing only on my desires and being afraid to get in too close.

The curtains in the window were open as beams of sunlight poured into the room from a passing cloud. As I gazed into the light only looking into space, I felt a very profound sense of peace and calm come over me. Then there was a sudden elimination of all fear. A lifting away of a fear that felt like a thick heavy metal layer of skin, like something that I’ve always warn anonymously.

In the next moments, I felt the most wonderful and indescribable sensations of my entire life. The best way that I can explain it is to call it an overwhelming tidal wave of the most intense, pure, powerful Love and Joy that I’ve ever experienced in my life. It was a deep “unconditional” saturating Love, without condemnation or expectations, and that forgives all for any trespass. I felt that this kind of Love extends throughout the cosmos into everything. It was a Love that completes everyone and everything to its core. This was an influence infinitely beyond my understanding.

Finally, I began to blend in with this energy source (God?), until I understood that I was a part of everything and in every place simultaneously. There were what seemed like billions of multiple flashes of views, a seeing of everywhere and everything for milliseconds.

When the vision ended, I felt like I was glowing with the sun beaming in my chest. I don’t know how long it lasted because there wasn’t any sense of time involved in the experience. It all could have happened in a flash. But I estimate it lasted about 10 to 15 minutes.

I found that the vision had elevated me spiritually, and it had a direct positive life-affirming effect on everyone that I came into contact with. I became a messenger of love and one with everyone that I met. It seemed as though I could understand all the great wisdom and profound problems of people effortlessly.

But this was not to last. I soon felt the slow decline of the awakening slip away daily, and within two weeks I had returned to my normal self. I was addicted to the memory of the unconditional love that I had received, but to no avail. There only remained a recollection of great detail burned into my memory. I searched desperately for about two years, looking for a way to return to that enlightened state of consciousness without success. The experience was more real and natural to me than the reality that I’ve been living in my whole life.

However, this Mystical Vision has been the only experience so far, and it has by far surpassed any of my Life’s Greatest Expectations.

Furthermore, I do look at this vision as a gift of grace. I am not special, and I can’t think of any reason why I had that moment. It’s definitely had a colossal impact on my life that I can never deny, and I know, without a doubt for myself, that there’s something wonderful out there waiting for us all.

Mystical Experiencer:  Male in early fifties
Submission date:  July 1, 2021
Current location:  United Kingdom
Age at time of experience:  42

The most significant event of my life was not the birth of my son but what happened ten weeks later – the first time I took him into town on my own – just the two of us.

It was a bright autumn morning as I drove into Colchester – my home town at the time. I parked up and started walking toward the town centre, happily pushing my son, Isaac, in his pram.

I had a strong feeling of being proud to be a dad as I walked along the pavement, smiling at passers-by.

I started wondering about how marvellous pavements are and that this one had been laid just for us and for this very moment. I silently thanked the people who had laid it.

Soon, all objects took on special significance: lampposts were an incredible invention; buildings, glass windows, cars racing up and down the road, some with music blaring out, were all viewed as marvellous creations.

The words and thoughts going through my mind were, “How wonderful that someone invented…”

This sense of wonder became mixed with a real feeling of compassion and love for all things…

I clearly remember a black guy passing me with a huge beaming smile. I could feel an energy of love going back and forth from his heart to mine. It reminded me of the scene in the film Donnie Darko when Donnie has a type of energy vortex coming out of his chest.

The feeling of wonder and love intensified and within another minute or so everything became ONE THING. There was no subject and object. All ‘things’ existed as ‘one thing’.

Time stood still: I had entered eternity.

There was no ‘me’ at this point, although I was able to continue pushing the pram through a park. It was as if I was floating and the pram was effortlessly moving itself, even up steps. The ancient Chinese might refer to it as Wu Wei – effortless action.

The consciousness that had filled my mind-body was observing itself and recognising that everything – animate and inanimate – is made of love. Everything in the universe (which in this eternal moment was just one thing) is made of love. Love is the molecular building block of all life and all things.

Pure consciousness at this point. Oneness. Unity. The sacred marriage. The Holy Spirit had been birthed within me and I had a strong feeling of having been ‘born again’.

It was only upon exiting the park and walking out onto the next busy street that I ‘came to’. I had to cross a road and it seemed as if my attention was drawn back to normal consciousness.

But immediately I knew I’d experienced something profound. Words don’t get close to describing the immensity of the experience which, today, over ten years later, remains the most significant twenty minutes of my life.

For weeks afterwards, my levels of compassion, empathy, altruism, tolerance and acceptance were all intensified.

I’ve since come to believe that the whole episode may have been triggered by two main factors…

1) I was studying 3 books on mysticism and spiritual awakening at the time – I’d had glimpses of such things through the use of psychedelics in the past and had always remained interested in the subject, and

2) I may have been seeing the world through the eyes of my 10-week old son; unconditional love for All That Is (no judgements, no preconceptions – just pure consciousness) and somehow my consciousness had merged with his.

I’ve spent the last decade trying to understand what really happened to my consciousness in those 20 minutes. Stumbling upon an old book about Advaita Vedanta helped to answer some of the questions.

It seems as if, during those moments of oneness, pure consciousness had possessed me and was observing itself out there. Inside and outside was one and the same thing. The mirror had been wiped clean and gave a perfect reflection of the Truth.

I’m changed since then. A gravitational shift occurred in those eternal moments. I now try to use this experience to help others in my therapy practice.

It was – and will always remain – the pivotal point in my life.